sikilmahfud

Since middle of 2011, I became the most senior generation in my campus. And because of that, I decrease my activity in campus in order to be focus on internship report and thesis. I’m not active in campus as the first three years. And because I’ve also taken most of lecture subjects in early three years, now I can ‘enjoy’ much free-time.

But having much free-time makes me feel lonely. I mostly do my internship report and thesis in my home while online; connect Internet to search important materials or do some chats in social network. Really, I feel lonely, I feel like I must build this life. I feel my life is half-filled. 

After I graduate, I do want to have right community to grow up together. I do want to grow up spiritually so I can build better relationship with Jesus. So I can be strong against every temptation that comes to test me. I really can’t do it alone. I do want to live in God’s plan…I want to be focus on His way and His dream. I want to grow up. Someday I must marry a girl and build a new family, so I must become a better person. But I can’t grow up maximally when I’m alone. Yes I realize it very much.

Anyway, thanks God for this time. Though I still can’t see Your plan for my life thoroughly, I won’t waste this moment. I’ll use this moment to learn as much as I can before You end this moment. Yes, this is a moment of waiting! Six months to go, and I must do my best!

My 2012 resolution:

I will do my best this year! And God please work on my life, change my character and lighten every dark side in my life so I don’t have any more dark side forever!

Just remains two days

For this year

And I feel so grateful

To pass day by day

Until You bring me today, Lord

Honestly,

I feel this year isn’t all happy moment

I remember, early moment of this year

I spent it with difficulty, my computer was broken

And I couldn’t do my assignment

But thanks Lord, You gave new computer for me

Also, I often feel not decent to be near to You, Lord

But thanks Lord, You never tired to make me strong

You never stop whispering Your sound

Deep down in my heart,

Even in the darkest moment in my life

And this moment

You still hold my small hand

I also want to say thanks, Lord

For everything that I never thought before

You give for me this year

For everyone that help me

To keep me on the right track

In the destiny, in the plan that You set for me

Thank you Lord

I know I am weak

But Your love is strong enough

To hold me by Your side forever

Thank you Lord

My deepest hope

To be near to You till my last breath