sikilmahfud

glass of creativity and motivation


One day, there are four candles
Their light gradually become dim
So the room becomes dark

One of the candle, called ‘Peace’
Peace says,
“People can’t keep me
I am useless now”
So peace put out its own light

The second candle called “Faith”
Faith says,
“People can’t keep me
I am useless now”
So faith also put out its own light

The third candle called “Love”
Love says,
“People can’t keep me
They pick fight each other
Even they hate others who love them
I am useless now”
Love also put out its own light sadly

Suddenly a boy comes to the room
He says,
“Why is this room so dark??
I am afraid!”
He cries, beg the candle
To lit on their light again

Then the fourth candle called “Hope”
Touched by that boy’s sincerity
Hope says
“Don’t worry, boy
While I still have light
We can lit on the other candles.”


No matter how hard our burden is, don’t give up HOPE.



It has been four years since I accepted Jesus in my heart.
But in the moment, I feel like I am in the lowest point of my faith.
I often feel angry with God.
I feel, even if I turn out become bad people, He doesn’t care.
At this moment, even to obey the simplest word of Him, I couldn’t.
Sometimes I spend out my night with anger instead of praying.
Also, I often can’t bear temptation.

I don’t know how many times I pray
“God, I need community to grow up.”
“I can’t be alone.”
“I need someone more mature to guide me to You.”
“I can’t spend all my time in home without friends guide me to You.”
But until this moment, God remains silent.
Looks like He doesn’t care about me.

Now, I feel very very not decent to do His work.
I often say to Him
“I can’t keep any promise in You. I am weak, please choose others.”
“I really can’t do Your work. If I do it, while my life isn’t right in Your eyes, people won’t trust me.”
“I am afraid being a hypocrite.”
“Why do others have community to support while I am only alone?  Do You forget me?”
“Why was I born if I born to be lonely?”

I write this, not to blame God.
I only express my true feeling.
I just don’t want to be a hypocrite.


"Yellow rice" is Indonesian food (in Indonesian we call it "nasi kuning"). Wonder why the color is so yellow? Because the rice is cooked together with water and turmeric, that gives the natural yellow color. Besides, there are roast chicken, noodle, omelette, Indonesian corn pancakes, soybean cake, tofu, and crackers. Yummy!

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Hi, just call me Yose. I am just an ordinary boy who keeps learning. Someday I want to participate more in science and technology...^_^

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