sikilmahfud

I am a clod of clay in the road edge. Everyday all I can do is just seeing people go back and forth, waiting somebody for using me. But day by day, everybody just passes in front of me and never consider me. I feel so sad. I want to be useful but I am powerless.

Till someday, somebody come into me and put me into his container. I feel so happy because my waiting moment is ended now. At least I will be more useful in the man's hand rather than in the road edge.

In the man's house, the man immediately puts me into twisting heating machine. I feel shocked because of such deed. Then I spontaneously shout, “Stop!! Please!!” But apparently the man doesn't hear me. Many times I shout and shout, but the man never hear me. I feel so inconvenient, so hot and dizzy. I feel regret, I want to come back into the road edge because I can't bear it.

After several times, the process is stopped. I feel so relieved, but just for a while because the man then put me into a very cold place. The temperature, brrr....I want to shout but my sound is frozen. Why does the man do it? What's my fault? Why do I must experience this?

Several days passed and the cooling process is over. The man puts me outside the cold place, then carves me with his special tools. It hurts me much, during the process I always shout and shout. Afterward, the man put me together with other beautiful cups, bring us to the shop, and display us in the shop window. When I stare the window glass, I feel so surprised. “Wow, so beautiful...is it really me? Am I dreamed?”

Customers that see me said astonishingly, “Wow, this cup is so beautiful!”

Then I said, “I understand now why I must experience hot, dizzy, cold, and hurt. There were so hard for me, but they make me as who I am now. Thanks, man.”



That illustration is the same with our life. We often pray to God, ask God we can be a better person, be useful for our surroundings. God allows the problem come into our life, so we can be strong after we pass it. Sometimes we don't understand why we experience such bad condition. Sometimes we feel life is so unfair. Sometimes we think, we don't do anything wrong but why do the problem happens into our life?

Believe that everything happens in our life is just His plan to make us become stronger and stronger. Even in the process God always takes care of us, never absent to give us strength. God has beautiful plan for each of us, we are born to be His masterpiece. So every moment in our life, just say thanks to God!

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Just another inspiration for game developer

In 2040-2050 decade, global warming effect is in peak. Ozone layer in both south and north pole is greatly diminished, so all ice melted and sea water volume is increased by 20%. Huge flood and tsunami destroy islands and big cities around the world, while the biggest hurricane is continuously recorded. Mass death is reported everywhere.

After all ice in the pole melted in 2070 decade, the remaining human being come back from their refuge in the mountain and highland. Using remaining technology, they try again to rebuild the earth. But they must face extreme condition: the sun radiation boils the earth because the ozone layer is greatly corrupted and there is no ice in the pole anymore. To avoid sun radiation that can cause cancer, they must wear special cloth.

50 years later...

Ozone layer is continuously reduced and reduced. The earth temperature is like the moon, very hot in the noon and very cold in the night. Even in the noon the sky color isn't light blue anymore; it becomes dark blue and some stars can be seen, because of the extremely thin ozone layer. Ninety percent of the earth becomes desert. Sea water volume is again reduced because the sun boils the sea day by day. Then the ruins of destroyed big city like New York, Tokyo, and London are reappeared. Really, they seem so grim, no life. Dead cities. Many ruins are floated in the ocean, make the ocean seems so turbid. Most of the ruins are recycled to make new civilization.

In the midst of such extreme condition, the development of science and technology is quite fast, so people can rebuild quickly. In Kathmandu 2122 Conference, many important decisions are resulted for future human being: new settlement model, protection against sun radiation, artificial ozone concept, solar energy concept, sea cleansing and distillation, and Equatorial Project.

Indonesia, 2170

Indonesia is a part of Equatorial Project, just like other tropical countries such as Brazil and Madagascar. The world focuses the development in the equatorial area, because there are still little part of natural resource that can be saved. So, the science and technology development are also focused in the equatorial area.

Many islands that were sinked now reappeared because of the decreased sea water volume. All neighbored island is connected by bridge. In big cities, skyscrapers are soared high; the average height is 1500 meters, because people tend to settle vertically. The common architecture is: in the middle part of the building, it's used for vertical farming, to fulfill the food need for the resident. In the edge part, capsule rooms are build as settlement, just like the branch of tree. The top part of the building is used as solar system generator. From the distance, the settlement is like huge forest in the middle of desert island.

Some islands like Bali, Aru, and Seram island become reservoir place. In those islands, people still can see natural forest, animal, and fresh water source that is just a part of two percents around the world. Artificial sky is built above those islands. There are place people can still see light blue sky. There are place people can still breathe with abundant oxygen. Those islands are considered as heaven in the earth.

Of course the number of visitor are highly limited. Only they who have contributed for the world development are allowed to go to those islands. Because of the importance, the government builds floated island around the reservoir. Floated islands are used for soldier to defense them against terrorist. Terrorist often attacks equatorial area in order to pillage the remaining resource. They are organized around the world, they are also armed with sophisticated weapon.

Because of the extreme environment, world politic that become worse, and high death rate due to sun radiation and lack of resource, scientist and soldier are considered as prestigious profession.

When we still sat on the High School desk, we were often crammed by a number of new vocabularies. We must memorize tenth of vocabs until night, we feel so sleepy but tomorrow we have English test. But now we have already known much of those vocabs very well. Even though we forget a word and we hear someone say that word, we will think, “Wait, look like I've heard this word before”. Our brain will search the word, match the word with our “database”. Just like my lecturer said, “Human brain is amazing.”

Yeah, I really agree with my lecturer statement. How can we be considered as smart? I ever read that it's not depend on how much data we know, but it is depend on how can we link every data that we have. For example I'll tell you about one word: mountain. If me, I'll think: mountain...hmmm, the mountain I do want to visit is Mount Fuji. Mount Fuji is located in Japan. Japan has so many anime. But watch too much anime is not good because it can make us addicted......Stop here! Mountain and addicted....it has already gone too far!

What if we apply such intelligence into machine?

In the future, we will need smart machine. A machine that's not just run the program sequentially. Do you ever write a program to process factorial number? Or the program that's used to encode and decode message? Those are sequential program, because the program processes data input by a process that has many formulas that are defined before, and then results output. Data input must be complete in order to run the program successfully.


Flowchart of sequential program

Learning machine doesn't need complete data to run, because learning machine has rules. Rules is used to handle and link incomplete data input. Unlike sequential program that must have exact input and output, learning program can handle uncertainty situation. If needed, program can add new rule from its own predefined rules, by the formula that is given before. More often the program used, more rules the program will have and hence the output will be more accurate. Just like human, more experience that we have, we will be wiser.

At the moment, learning machine is usually used in expert system, a system that act as an expert. For example a software that is aimed to ask for patient's disease. At the beginning operation, the software needs human expert involvement to enter enough rules and data that is needed. As time goes by, the software itself can link data according to the rules that the software has without human expert involvement. More rules that the software has, the result is also more satisfied and accurate.

In my opinion, a machine that can learn must be developed further, not just to investigate a problem. We can widen the need of learning machine to other aspects. For example, a robot. In first use, the robot needs human expert to control robot behavior: what robot must do when meet a kind of obstacle, what robot must do when meet another kind of obstacle. As time goes by, no matter where the robot is placed, robot knows what to do according to its experiences before (read as: according to the predefined rules). Moreover, the robot can make its own rules according to predefined rules that the robot has before, make the robot smarter and smarter.

Learning machine isn't as terrible as we see in the Terminator movie. Instead, it will help us very much.

One day, there is caterpillar lives in a garden. The caterpillar has haired skin that make it looks disgusting. Everyday the caterpillar just eat, eat, and sleep. Many sheets of leaves have been torn, withered, and fall because caterpillar eats them. But the caterpillar is never satisfied. For the caterpillar, the most important thing is she can eat and eat, until her body becomes fatty.

As time goes by, the caterpillar is bored with her everyday life. Moreover, the caterpillar doesn't have friend because other animals in the garden feel disgusted with her. The caterpillar feels sad. Then she makes a decision, she won't eat for several weeks and enclose herself into pupa until she becomes a different animal.

The caterpillar then alienates herself from the outside. She encloses herself into a pupa. Long waiting moment begins. Day by day, the hair that covered her body fall and in change, a small wing grows. The caterpillar feels hungry and bored, but strong will makes the caterpillar patient and strong in such moment.

Then the moment the caterpillar must exit from her pupa begins. Her wings are very beautiful, but she isn't yet ready to fly. There is the last process she must pass: strengthen her wings in order to fly. To do so, she must struggle to exit from her pupa with all of her strength.

For several hours, the caterpillar struggles to exit, tries to rip the pupa. Many times she fails, but she tries and tries again. She feels so tired, but she still tries. Then finally the pupa has enough torn for her to exit and fly.

All garden creature, see! A caterpillar that can fly, flap her wings beautifully! All creatures in the garden doesn't realize that in the past, it is just a caterpillar that just eat and sleep in her everyday life. They just know it as butterfly, a creature that has beautiful wings, colorize the garden.

Against anxiety
Against boredom
Against failure
Against fear
Against immaturity
Against limitation
Against temptation
Against uncertainty
I will fly, to the unheard future

No matter what dark my past is
I will leave it behind
I will deal with it, without regret
So I don't burden my future with it
So I could fly without being burdened

The moment,
When imagination plays vividly inside my mind
I will save it forever
And I will use it to drive through every moment
As long as there is chance to learn, I will learn
I will redeem all my mistakes in the past
For the people who support me very much
For the people I will meet in the future
For the sake of better future!

I will fly bravely, to the unheard future
I will fly with courage, with the light wing
I will never be afraid my wing will be injured
Coz I know, no matter my wing is wounded
It will be healed and I will fly again

I've just migrated my operating system, from Windows XP that works for me faithfully for about 4 years. Actually it happens just by incidence, because my XP is broken and I don't have any idea how to repair it, and then I remember I still have Kubuntu CD that I get in a seminar one year ago. This kind of Linux has eye-catching view. Compared to Windows XP, the Kubuntu view is more like Windows Vista or Seven. Let's see picture below, Kubuntu desktop has widget feature (just like Vista and Seven):



There are two things that I like from Kubuntu view. First, desktop icon view is arranged separately from background. Moreover, we can be more flexible to arrange which item that we want to display. For example if we want to display a specific folder in the desktop, right click the Desktop Folder, then choose Folder View Setting and browse Specify a Folder. And clinkxx....all of the content within the folder is displayed.







Second, the way Kubuntu play multimedia. It's really cool!! Just point the cursor to the music file that we want to play, no need to click, and see Information part in the right side of Dolphin, click play button there and the music is played without need for calling audio software like Amarok or VLC. But remember when the music is being played, don't point the cursor to other file, unless the music that's being played is stopped because the cursor focus is changed.





Nah, because I'm a Linux newbie, I want to share about my feeling for my first time using Linux, as a newbie. Below are my “good feeling” and my “bad feeling”:

My good feeling:

• I have a chance to learn something new.
  
  
• Technician independence. It means, if I have something wrong with my operating system, I don't need to call technician anymore because I have the free Kubuntu CD.
  
  
• I don't need to worry about virus anymore.
  

My bad feeling:

• As a newbie, I can't be instantly convenient with all features that Linux provide. For example, I still want to play my Windows games that I installed before, such as C&C and NFSU. I also still need some Windows softwares. But fortunately there is Wine software that make me able to run some Windows software (some, not all...).
  
  
• Many file types that work in Windows don't work in Linux. For example, to play a music we usually use mp3 extension, but Linux has different default format: ogg. So you'll need additional libraries to make the mp3 file works in Linux.
  
  
• To install new software, you'll definitely need internet connection. If no, it will need very much effort. You know, in Linux if you want to install new software, you must check all dependencies the software needs. If you have internet connection, you can easily type “sudo apt-get install XXX” in the Terminal, and you'll get the software package that you want, complete with all dependencies that the software need. But if no, you must know every package that the software need.
  
  You can search in http://packages.ubuntu.com if you use Kubuntu like me. Because Kubuntu is the child of father Ubuntu, so all the packages is same with the Ubuntu used.
  

To get package that you want in that site, remember:

• You should get the deb executable file (just like exe in Windows). Deb is abbreviated from Debian. Maybe you think, why Debian? Doesn't Ubuntu have its own executable file extension? The reason maybe Debian is the father of Ubuntu (and the grandfather of Kubuntu??).
  
  
• Don't forget that not just the software package have dependencies, but each subpackages have, too.
  
  
• Check the version and architecture type that your software need. If the version that you download is below the software need, it won't work.
  
  
  

I found a very deep-meaning song. This song, sakura no ame, is about friendship, dream, and hope.
I can't stop listening it!! When we've already became person that we dream, walk on our own career, our own life, don't forget to meet again!

Yeah, it's the lyric:

Japanese

sorezoreno basho he tabidatte mo
tomodachi da kiku mademonaijan
juunintoiro ni kagayai ta hibi ga mune hare to senaka osu

tsuchibokori agekisotta koutei
kyuukutsu de tsukuzushita seifuku
tsukue no ue ni kaita rakugaki
doremo koremo bokura no akashi

hakushi no touji ni wa tsutaekirenai
omoide no kazu dake namida ga nijimu
osanakute kizutsuke mo shita
bokura wa sukoshi kurai otona ni nareta no kana

kyoushitsu no mado kara Sakura no Ame
fuwari tenohira
kokoro ni yoseta
minna atsumete dekita hanataba wo
sora ni hanatou

wasurenaide
ima wa mada chiisana hanabira da toshite mo
bokura wa hitori janai

getabako de mitsuketa koi no mi
rouka de koboshita fuhei fuman
okujou de taguri kaita mirai zu
doremo koremo bokura no akashi

sotsugyou shousho ni wa kaitenai kedo
hito wo shinji hito wo aishite mananda
naki
warai
yorokobi
ikari
bokura mitai ni aoku aoku harewataru sora

kyoushitsu no mado kara Sakura no Niji
yume no hitohira
mune furuwaseta
deai no tame no hanare to shinjite
te wo furikaesou

wasurenaide
itsuka mata ookina hanabira wo sakase
bokura wa koko de aou

ikusen no manabiya no naka de
bokura ga meguriaeta kiseki
ikutsu toshi wo tottemo kawaranide
sono yasashii egao


kyoushitsu no mado kara Sakura no Ame
fuwari tenohira
kokoro ni yoseta
minna atsumete dekita hanataba wo
sora ni hanatou

wasurenaide
ima wa mada chiisana hanabira da toshite mo
bokura wa hitori janai


itsuka mata
ookina hanabira wo sakase
bokura wa koko de aou

No matter how hard it hurts me.
I'll never say good bye.
Your presence will always linger in my heart.
...wanna see your smile again.


English

Even when we have to each walk our different path now,
we are still friends. There's no doubt about that.
Those days when we each shone in our own colors,
they now push our backs so that we can stick out our chests.

The school ground where dust flew as we competed in a race,
the uniform that we didn't wear properly because it didn't fit,
the scribbles that we wrote on the desk tops,
all of them are our testimonies.

The replies on the white paper couldn't convey completely
the amount of our memories, which are being blurred by our tears.
Being childish, we also hurt each other before.
Have we, even by a little, grown up slightly?

The cherry blossoms rained in from our classroom's windows,
softly landed in our palms,
and knocked open our hearts.
Having made a bouquet from all the petals we collected,
let's release it into the sky.

Do not forget,
although we are each just a small flower petal right now,
we are not alone.

The love letters we found in our shoe rack,
the grumblings of our discontent in the hallway,
the future we drew hand-to-hand on the roof top,
all of them are our testimonies.

Although it's not written in our diplomas,
we have learned to trust and love people.
Crying,
laughing,
happiness,
anger,
just like us, the blue sky is also clearing up.

A rainbow of cherry blossoms stretched into our classroom from the windows,
as a piece of our dream
stirred up the feelings in our chest.
Believing that we separate now in order to reunite later,
let's all wave goodbyes at each other.

Do not forget,
once we've each grown out an extravagant flower,
let's meet again here.

With thousands of schools out there,
it was a miracle that we ended up in this school.
No matter how many years you age,
please always keep that gentle smile.

The cherry blossoms rained in from our classroom's windows,
softly landed in our palms,
and knocked open our hearts.
Having made a bouquet from all the petals we collected,
let's release it into the sky.

Do not forget,
although we are each just a small flower petal right now,
we are not alone.

Once we've each grown out an extravagant flower,
let's meet again here.

No matter how hard it hurts me.
I'll never say good bye.
Your presence will always linger in my heart.
...wanna see your smile again.

It has been one and half years
I walk with You
And I found myself
So alright now
In You, I found the safest place
For my wandering soul

I know, it is still a long, long way ahead
And I have wishlist, in my heart
I never count,
How many times I pray for it
How many times I write it
How many times I think about it
Sometimes I feel so crazy,
Ah, maybe it's because of my impatience!

But things I know
No matter how many times I shout for the wishlist
You've already had the best plan for me
You've already held my wishlist paper
And for this new year,
I hope I know You better
I hope I can be closer and closer to You

And before we walk to the next step
I just want to say,
Thank You Lord
For the time You give for me
To learn for my future, to be closer with You
Thank You Lord
For giving me time to grow up
Thank You Lord
For always taking care for me
Thank You Lord
For holding my wishlist
I know, my wishlist is in the safest place

“Where am I??” the boy opens his eyes and looks the surrounding. All seems unfamiliar.

Then a crewman approaches him and say, “Boy, now you are safe. We found you and some of your friend floated in the sea, so we take you here.”

The boy begged, “Sir, please give me a new life. I just escape from war in my country. I don't have parents now, and my brother just die several days ago because of the war.”

The crewman drops his tears. Then he says, “Yeah, don't worry, boy. I'll bring you to my country. There you'll have a new home, you can play with friends, and you can eat delicious food!”

Several days passed in the sea and now they are in the crewman country. The boy are taken to the crewman house. The crewman has decided to be his stepfather. He wishes someday, the boy can save others who still live in the conflict area and doesn't have other choice to determine their own life.

First months in the crewman house, the boy tells a lot about his past in his hometown – how he lived in war, how he saw his friends are trained violently, how he tried to escape from his country. The crewman tries to cheer the boy, to deal with his past. He also introduces many new things to the boy. The boy is very happy with his new life.

After the moment, the boy begins to enter the school.

******

“My parents died, my brother died. Why just me that is saved? Why just me that can feel all of this – good country, good education?”

“Hey, what's wrong with you? Don't just daydream! You must bring all these stuffs to the ship!”, his instructor suddenly shouts.

He and his team mates are busy carrying medical stuff from repository room to the ship. Several days later they will have test to determine their graduation.

Then he comes home and meet his stepfather who is getting old.

“What's about your day now?”

“Good day, but somewhat tired. I'll have test several days later to graduate. Pray for me Dad so I can pass it well!”

“Of course....good luck for your test! Now let us eat first, you must be hungry after all of training these days.”

****

Several years passed after the boy's graduation. No, not the boy anymore. He is a man now. Now he is working as rescuer team to save children in some conflict area. But he still has a desire to go back to his hometown, of course, not as a victim anymore. Maybe there still some people he know, and he want to share all of his experience in the past – when he must struggle to live alone without parent, when he saw his friends are murdered, when his hometown were attacked, when he tried to escape from his country, but thanks to his stepfather who save him in the sea, he can become the person like now.

One day, there is a country that is dogged by brother-in-arms for many years. The brother-in-arms is aggravated by the presence of foreign troops. They deliberately use this situation for their own advantages. That's why this country never feel even a little bit of peace. No matter in the noon or in the night, suicide bomb, tank, land mines, and aircraft always result the number of innocent victims.

There is a boy live in that country. His parents die as victim of suicide bomb, when they went to buy food in the market. Not just his parents, but many of his friends has already died, too. Now he just have only one elder brother and they live in a small house.

This boy, just like thousands of people who live in conflict area – is used to live difficultly. Whistling bullets from machine guns and suicide bombing are usual things for him. He always live in fear, because the extremists that control the area he live apply many strict rules, such as curfew. If someone disobey it, there will be a terrible punishment. He ever saw his neighbor beheaded because he disobey the curfew.

One moment, the extremists hear that coalition army will hold military operation in their area to wipe them out. In response to the attack, the extremists force all man in their area to be armed, including the boys' elder brother. They also propagate the residents with their idealism and train them violently.

But no matter how many times the extremists propagate the residents, they actually don't care. For the residents, the extremist, the foreign troops – all are enemy. They just want to feel the peace, but the condition doesn't allow it.

Several days passed. One noon, aircrafts begin to attack the area by dropped bombs. The extremists and some residents who have already trained reply the invasion with automatic gunner and anti air weapon. The boy's brother also joins with them. But the boy and some residents are trapped inside the bunker.

Then the air attack ends and now the coalition army attacks the area with tanks. The extremists that begin to lose, choose to face the coalition army with suicide bomb. When the land battle begin, the boy and all residents that accompany him immediately leave the bunker to escape, just before the coalition army reach their bunker. They want to reach the coast to leave the country for the better life.

Several days later, with tiredness and weariness, they finally reach the coast. They saw a boat tethered in the rock. They shout happily and immediately run into the boat. After cut the ropes, they push the boat to the sea. But when they begin to enter the boat, suddenly one of them shout with panic, “Hey, I see some people with guns from farther!!”

They begin to panic and jostle to enter the boat. The boy, thanks to his small body, can enter the boat first. Then suddenly the boat are fired with machine gun. The people who are still outside the boat die instantly. One of the people inside the boat immediately take the steer and drive the boat.

The boat goes with severe damage. Just less than twenty minutes after, the boat begins to sink. They immediately take every stuff in the boat and jump into the sea. Then they are floated in the sea for several times.

To be continued