sikilmahfud

There is a moment
When my question isn't yet answered
When I pray but He doesn't seem to answer
When my heart shouts
"Hey, I want to love, I want to be loved!
I want to be a good friend
But I can't!"

No matter how smart I am
No matter how much knowledge installed in my brain
No matter how many competition I enroll
Even if I won all of them
What are they for??
If nothing can fulfill my heart
with true happiness?

How can I found it, Jesus?
How?
Read many books about "How to Live Happily" ?
Follow many church activities??
People say
"You must love the others whatever they are"
I have tried...
But finally I always feel
I am just a boy
that can't make them happy

I share my feeling, right now
I don't want to wear mask
I don't want to hide my true feeling
My true feeling, it's normal and humanly, right??
Or just me that feel it?

No matter how painful this process
No matter how long I struggle to find the fulfillment
I won't stop, I will try
I will beg Him, in His foot
with all of my strength!!